Speed Kills…

IT’s overwhelming to see EVERYTHING that today’s teenager is going through, much less try to ministry to them in the midst of it all. Seriously, I wonder do folks understand that we are trying to minister to students who are dealing with issues like:

- Sex
- Getting along with their parents
- Lust
- Hassled to do drugs
- Media
- Succeeding in school
- Rebellion
- Cutting themselves
- Anorexia/bulimia
- Dating pressures
- Alcohol
- Acceptance
- Making friends
- Pornography
- Suicide
- Attractiveness
- Building self-esteem
- Adolescents/puberty

This is just to name a few.

It’s tough and expensive to plan, organize, study, follow-up, grow personally, give students individual attention, teach classes, make class handouts, develop power point presentations, write small group discussions, preach, take kids out to lunch, meeting with parents, be involved in the community, be a husband, a father, a mother, a wife, lead worship, sing in the choir, facilitate staff meetings, be a sound engineer, and understand how to run intelligent lighting…. I’m tired just writing everything, I know you are trying to catch your breath as well.

The “average” student ministry requires constant attention and more time than we have! It’s a constant cycle of…

- Bible Classes
- Devotionals
- Game nights
- Worship
- Small Groups
- Regular contact with students
- Staff training
- Personal spiritual growth
- Mission trips
- Retreats
- Outreach
- Counseling
- Evangelism
- Discipleship
- Parent Care
- Crisis Management
- Summer Camps
- Conventions

In this world of bi-vocational youth ministry, the thing that we all need to understand is that SPEED KILLS!

The pace of life is killing the soul of families, let alone bi-vocational youth workers. It makes good people act crazy and makes otherwise healthy individuals become vulnerable – vulnerable to sickness, vulnerable to broken relationships, vulnerable to sin. The old adage, “speed kills” no longer refers to only drivers on the highway.

Today’s bi-vocational youth worker is dangerously tired. We are too busy and too distracted to find much hope unless we undergo so drastic “ministry surgery”.

What happens when we run too fast for too long? The hurry and busyness of life can be the great destroyers of an otherwise healthy youth worker, family or individual. A philosopher in the previous century put it this way: “Hurry is not of the Devil; hurry is the Devil.” Decades later Richard Foster wrote, “Our Adversary majors in three things: noise, hurry and crowds. If he can keep us engaged in ‘muchness’ and ‘manyness,’ he will rest satisfied.

Let’s face it: Everything is more dangerous at high speed. When we are overly tired, we tend to become numb to what matters most in our life. We settle for mediocrity in our primary relationships with God, our spouse, our kids, our extended family, and our friendships. The saddest part is that many of us are just too busy to care. When we are overcommitted, we postpone or cut short what matters most. Our to-do list seems necessary and unavoidable. We feel like we can never escape.

Choosing to cut back from the busy pace we live our lives can be difficult and involves tough choices. It requires the courage of your conviction that cutting back is in the best interest of your life, those of your family and your youth ministry. Even when doing so is contrary to what we so often see as the norm in today’s culture.

Spread Love…

Here are some ideas to spread the love! Actually, there are 99 ideas… Go ahead, start a love revolution in your life and in the life of those around you.

Don’t wait to say, “I love you.” Tell someone today, right now.

Tell your child you believe in her or him.

When you ask a question, listen to the answer.

Leave an unexpected note. (My wife did this for me during a recent out-of-town trip. It was awesome to find “I Love You” notes in my luggage, toiletry bag, pockets, etc.) You get the point!

Admit when you are wrong.

Do what you say you’re going to do.

Be generous with compliments and judicious with complaints.

Forgive, let go and move on.

Smile when someone touches your heart.

Prepare and share a meal together.

Tell your parent one thing he or she did that inspired you.

Treat a friend to lunch.

Seek to understand first, before asking to be understood.

Hold onto a hug one moment longer than expected.

Be an encourager.

Show patience, even in your busiest moment.

Help a friend find something that has been lost.

When someone is on your mind, pick up the phone and let them know.

Tell your wife how much you love her every night.

Tell your husband you are proud of him every day.

Be faithful to your spouse even when you think Temptation has made
its case.

Pray together.

Turn on a light to interrupt the darkness.

When asked for feedback; give it honestly, but with compassion.

Never forget the love you have been given; treasure it; respect it and hold onto it.

Put your child’s needs ahead of your own.

Show respect and expect respect in return.

Be comfortable in the silence.

Grab a work-out together.

Let your wife know you would marry her again.

Read to your child.

Extend a hand when there is a need.

Make time to just play!

Don’t gloat when you are right.

Let them see you being vulnerable; it will validate their own vulnerability.

Call your mom or dad often and offer some real insight into your life.

Climb the mountain and then enjoy the view together.

Never use love, or the threat of withholding love, as a weapon.

Let Jesus be the rock in your life.

Remember the words you use can encourage and they can hurt, too.

Do the right thing, always.

Be the first to stand up for your child.

Look for opportunities to make a loved one’s day a little easier.

Say, “Thank you.”

Open your heart to receive a loved one’s best effort.

Carry your friend; but know when it’s time to put him down.

When angry, think about how your words will be received ten minutes into the future.

Linger at the dinner table after the meal has been eaten. Take time to do more than JUST eat.

Know when to offer space and respect boundaries.

Remember that everyone deserves a second chance.

Go for a walk and leave the iPods at home.

Diffuse embarrassment with laughter.

Be willing to fall in love with your partner over and over.

Leave work at work.

Receive the compliment – it’s a gift created especially for you.

Your children hear everything; give them something worth repeating.

Speak your mind, but with a tender heart.

Share. Honor. Trust. Love and then repeat.

Provide a safe place to rest.

Notice the small things and recognize them.

Trust a friend.

Don’t offer or try to fix a loved one.

Place your spouse’s hand inside of yours.

Laugh together.

Call when you are running late.

Watch home videos or look through family photo albums together.

Take the good with the bad.

Ask your child for his opinion.

Save enough energy for a good-night kiss.

Compliment your spouse in front of others.

Become the loudest cheerleader.

Live in the here and now with those closest to your heart.

Tell your loved ones what they mean to you.

Be a model for healthy living.

When your wife comes home stop what you are doing and greet her.

Wait for the “rest of the story” before coming to an opinion.

Make the relationship a priority.

Show your gratitude.

Refrain from expecting perfection.

Be generous with your most valuable resource – your time.

Help a loved one to feel special on their birthday.

Love each one for who they are today.

Solve problems together.

Let them see the real you.

Cry together.

Let a loved one know that he or she is making your life better.

Do the unexpected.

Choose true connection over mediocrity.

Never insult your spouse, child and friend.

Plan a family night.

Know when to disconnect from the computer and re-connect.

Give gifts from your heart.

Acknowledge your spouse’s worth.

Stop trying so hard to be the perfect parent and just be the best parent you can be.

Lift up your friend.

Let your parents know you will continue the positive family traditions.

Remember the art of patience.

Simply love and love simply.

PBS here I come…

This was a promotional video that we did for church plants here in Virginia. I was asked to do the introduction and now have a deep appreciation for a second, third or in my case almost a dozen takes…

It was fun….

High School… All over again.

I will keep this brief…

Get to know me and you will quickly find out that I will be real and incredibly direct. I have learned over the years that when I am not, many things get lost in translation.

I love technology and reading… Which is why, (like so many others) I was enticed into the phenomenon of social media. First it was Myspace… Then Facebook. Now, Twitter! This great technology empowered me with a platform to share my thoughts, pictures or experiences with brevity… If I caught the interest of those within my social networking circles, great! If not, my feelings weren’t hurt either. Now, it seems like the dynamics of social media are rapidly changing. All three of the aforementioned have eroded from a vehicle of connection to competition… Frankly, they are all more like a popularity contest. Whoever has the most friends or followers wins. I graduated from high school in 1995… I am done with that popularity game. At least, I thought so.

What are the negative ramifications that technology, social media and cell phones are having on our culture? That is a rhetorical question but one that we should be asking ourselves.

Do any of us think it strange that we accept people that we hardly have any connection with or perhaps have never even met? Only to accept them into our virtual “sacred” worlds to let them see our most precious memories, revealing thoughts, etc. You may feel like this is a poor analogy or illustration but most of us would never let a stranger into our homes and yet we do this regularly through Crackbook (A.K.A., Facebook), Twitter, or MySpace. We have relationships with more emotional and spiritual traction with people online than we do with those we share neighborhood streets, office cubicles, and church pews with.

As we eagerly build our social media shrines to ourselves the essence of our issue is exposed… The dynamics of these social forums have changed from sharing our value (experiences, thoughts, photos, and etc.) to finding our value in how many followers we can accumulate… How many comments did I receive on my latest status, link or photo? If we are transparent, this is a common question that plagues many of our thoughts…

WOW!!! Who would’ve ever thought that this is the path we would have traveled down? “We are creating a culture of superficial self-worth, where hype is valued over reality.” – Cameron Strang

Cameron, you just nailed it!

My frustration is this… Can we handle the truth? Can my followers (oh, wait – friends) on FB, MySpace, and Twitter handle the truth? Can I share direct candid assessments of my day, feelings, and thoughts or do I have to continue to spend wasted minutes in developing catchphrases, sound bytes and little preachisms that will portray the HYPE and not my reality?

Really??? Is the passion, LOVE, enthusiasm, and humor that we vividly articulate through 140 characters or less being articulated in our relationship with our spouses, friends, neighbors, tasks, careers and God?

Here it is in a nutshell…

We are stretching ourselves thinner, becoming more distracted. and losing our hearing because the so-called “white noise” is drowning out the most important things in our lives.

We were intelligently designed for meaningful relationship with our Creator and his creation. It’s time that we identify boundaries that protect the most important things in our lives. If not, we will find ourselves clutching to the false reality of what we have created only to find it slip through our fingers regardless of how tight we squeeze.

Single Mom… Here are some financial resources.

DAYCARE

As the cost of daycare goes up, so does the struggle to afford it. Your local Department of Human Services can help you with that if your income falls within certain guidelines. There are also free or reduced-cost church daycares that will take care of your children during the day for no charge. Also consider a babysitting swap, where single mothers help each other out by taking children into their home for a day or evening, to allow moms to run errands and take care of business without the children present.

TRANSPORTATION
Getting to a job can be difficult when money is tight. Public transportation services can offer vouchers for those who have trouble affording it. If you qualify for food stamps or any other kind of government assistance, you might qualify for the vouchers – but you have to ask! Other ways to cut down on costs include carpooling, bicycling, and swapping transportation duties with friends.

MEDICAL HELP

Your children deserve health insurance. Many states offer coverage for all children, regardless of income, as long as they are under 18 and still full-time students. Federal coverage through Medicaid might also be possible. Keep an eye on the news for more information about public health care options, and when they can be expected.

FOOD SUPPLIES

Do you need food for your kids? Emergency foods stamps are available through your local Department of Children’s Services. Church pantries offer help as well, and food banks are available in almost every neighborhood. Don’t hesitate to ask for help with food – the health of your kids could depend upon it.

EDUCATIONAL SCHOOLS

Do you want to go back to school but don’t think you can afford it? Online schools make it easier to attend without having to go into the traditional classroom setting. There are grants and scholarships available for those who want to go back to school and make a better life for themselves and their kids. Contact the school of your choice to find out more.

RENT ASSISTANCE

If you need help with paying rent, Section 8 housing and HUD can help you. They might be able to provide everything from rent assistance to help with foreclosure proceedings. They might also be able to set you up in public housing that you can afford, freeing up more money to help your children with other things. Contact your local HUD office or the Department of Human Services for phone numbers of the representatives in your area

“You” – Amena Brown

Spoken word is an art form that I adore and find incredibly intriguing. Really, when you consider it from a biblical context, it is a psalm in its’ infancy.

I was hunting for some fresh video clips on www.bluefishtv.com  and came across Amena… An amazing talent… If you have seen this already, you know what I am talking about… If not, get ready because you are going to begin to worship.

I know someone in our church who needs to begin to operate in this gifting… They’ve got the goods.

Who knows?!? We shall see.

Hey Church… We’re Just Not That Into You.

As pastors, we have a tendency to burden our people with excessive expectations. The average Joe church member can’t possibly do everything you say they should do. Don’t believe me? See if this list defines some of your expectations of the Christians who attend your church…

1.Attend church service weekly.
2.Volunteer during another service
3.Attend Bible study or Sunday school or midweek service (whatever brand your church offers).
4.Serve in a ministry that helps the poor and needy.
5.If you are a leader (and we know who you are), then we’ll have a few moremeetings to attend, contacts to make, events to organize and teams to rally.
6.Attend periodic special events hosted by the church.
7.Be a great husband or wife and invest time in your marriage.
8.Oh, and make sure you are involved in mens’ or womens’ ministry.
9.Get in a small group and meet regularly.
10.If you are a man, you must be in a mens’ small group for accountability. Otherwise we know you look at porn.
11.If you are married, you probably should also be in a couples group if you care about your spouse.
12.Read your Bible every day. Anything less than 30 minutes is probably not enough.
13.Be a good citizen. Vote and get involved in your community.
14.Give ten percent of every penny that you make. And give to the special offerings. And give to the kids going on the missions trip. And give to the building fund.
15.Go on a missions trip. Been on a local trip? Overseas is your next step.
16.Invest in relationships in your neighborhood and at your workplace.
17.Invite people to church. Every week. The purpose of that, of course, is so you can get them to church so they can do #1 through #16 above.

This list wears me out just reading it…and I’m a pastor! Just think what it does tonormal people in our church. They keep trying and trying, doing and attending, but then life catches up and they feel like they can’t ever keep up with our expectations. They feel deflated.

Because on top of everything we expect, everyone else in their life also has expectations of them. They have sports events to attend and in-laws to keep happy and PTA events to organize. They have complicated family relationships to navigate, second jobs to find so they can put braces on the kids and keep food on the table. And many of them are involved in really good endeavors building into their communities or helping the under-resourced.

Sometimes I think we need to get a clue. We need a wake-up call. Some people are saying (or thinking), “Hey Church…we’re just not that into you. You are teaching us some great things and we are growing in our love of Jesus. But we can’t possibly do everything you are asking…give us a break!”

In a culture that is ever more complex and insanely busy, if we really want to help we will find ways to help them integrate a walk with Jesus in the context of their lives. We will ease up on our expectation of attendance and activity–and instead focus on spiritual outcomes. WARNING: This is VERY difficult to do because it is so hard to measure–and church leaders LOVE to measure stuff (me included!).

If you know of a church hitting a homerun in this area, I’d love to hear about it!

By: Tim Stevens

Are you in sync?!?

I am an organizing geek. I am also a gadget geek. Yes, and if you are being REAL many of you struggle with the same vice. (smile)

In the early 90′s it was the Day-Timer. You know that dinosaur that we tried to convince everyone was our wallet. It kept all of our information like contacts, calendar, and allowed us to take notes on the fly as long as we weren’t driving. Well, at least I was never that bold to attempt to drive and write at the same time. Then we evolved into an electronic version. The PDA.

Over the last decade I have had several PDAs. You know, that electronic device that has been an electronic calendar, address book, notepad, etc. My favorite feature, my Voice Pad. It was fierce! The PDA was my hero because my right arm was no longer stronger than my left due to lugging that HUGE Day-Timer. Now, I had a device on my hip that helped me manage life.

Raise your hand if you have a PDA now. As a matter of fact, raise your hand if you have a Day-Timer. On second thought, you better not.

In 2009 and for the last several years we have these pocket wonders called cell phones and smart phones which really are handheld computers. The cell phone has several victims and two of the aforementioned are at the top of it’s list. Come to think of it, the camera and the “landline” telephone are on the verge of extinction as well because the cell phone is in the process of choking the life out of their twitching bodies.

Ladies and gentleman, convergence is the word of the day.

Now, we have a device called a cell phone or a smart phone that is our camera, video, computer, calendar, walkman, note taker, contact database and even our alarm clock. I can see the lightbulb going off, right over your head. You just realized that you don’t even have an alarm clock and just had a flashback about that awkwardly huge thing that you used to punish for torturing you early in the morning.

In the employment sector, the information and technology sector have emerged as the paths of success and security. Thus, impacting our human behavior more than any other industry. Who would’ve thought that this little tiny device would influence us more than anything else.

As people, we too have come to this road of convergence. Leaders, executives, ministers, youth pastors, and a host of others are trying desperately to do all things.

You know one of the most important features that frustrates me the most about my smart phone?

Synchronization.

That point when I need my information on my MBP (Mac Book Pro) to sync to this smart phone. So often, my information doesn’t  sync and I feel as if I am out in limbo. Appointments, commitments, tasks, reminders, and important data is not with me.

Talk about the blind leading the blind. My smartphone is leading the way and I am following it hopelessly.

I was going somewhere with this thought this morning. Are you accomplishing or achieving your purpose? Are your seeing results? Are you growing? Is there laser like sharp focus in your life?If you are frustrated, take comfort because we have all been there at some point or another.

Don’t let technology teach you any longer.

Stop doing MANY (multi-tasking)  things and DO ONE THING!!!

You need to distill everything in life, down to that ONE THING. What is that ONE THING that makes you tick? What is that ONE THING that makes life worth it all? What is that ONE THING that causes you to stop looking at the clock? Find that ONE THING and allow that to absorb you.

If you are an 8 (REALLY GOOD) at communicating and casting vision then with laser-like intensity, focus on becoming a 10 (AWESOME). If you are a 4 with organizing then why are you working hard to become a 5.5 (AVERAGE)? Working to become average… That doesn’t sound like your plan…

Leaders, executives, and managers don’t want average employees. You will strive on working really hard to be average and in turn frustrate yourself and possibly extinguish your fire. STOP blowing out the flame and begin to fan the flame by doing that ONE THING!

Lastly, look at your choices! Each of us are the sum of our choices. Here is a good Akil-ism for you. “Choices give you direction and direction determines your destination. Where are you headed?” Give much thought to how does your one thing impact who you are and what you do? Then you need to SYNC your “being” and “doing”. Make sure your choices align with your being. Make sure your choices align with what God has called you to do.

It will take some time, but it’s easy to imagine the cell phone completely replacing the laptop for mobile use. We can listen to music, play movies, us the internet, and video chat in some cases. One day, computers will be a relic – - – just like the typewriter.

Here is the irony in it all. These future phones will abandon the one thing that gave them their name to begin with – a phone.

Don’t become a relic but continue to re-invent yourself by being relevant and making sure you are SYNCING to your ONE THING!

(COMING SOON – part 2, “Are You in Sync with God?”)

Exposure: Becoming a Multi-Cultural Church

It was 1984 and my parents decided that they would rent an RV and explore America with their kids. Tough to fathom with today’s prices of gasoline, huh? I was along for the ride and had very little control of where we went. Honestly, at that age I was consumed with the fact that I could play Atari from state-to-state. Even bathroom breaks couldn’t stop or thwart our progress because we had a house on wheels! Life was great!Where were we going? Well, I knew that we were going to Los Angeles. Disneyland, Universal Studious, Sea World and the city where Michael Jackson lived. SOLD! I was ready to go! I was told I may even see “The A-Team”, television show being recorded. Are you kidding me? Life couldn’t get any better, at least not for this 7-year-old.

All of these adventures and experiences came to pass, and I remember with vivid clarity those incredible moments. Yet, there are other memories that have stuck with me and contributed significantly to the person I am today.

I remember being overwhelmed as I peered through the glass of the helicopter trying to sit still and take in the Grand Canyon. From the air the Grand Canyon is more than just a sight to see. It really is a life changing experience. Mount Rushmore is one of the reasons I am such a huge fan of history today and in particular Abraham Lincoln.

My father was adamant about exposing all of us to so many different things at a young age. At the tender age of eight I had already been to every state in this country with the exception of Alaska and Maine. During this amazing journey I found myself being exposed to the Indian reservations of the Cherokee, the rolling rural hills of Tennessee to the desert lands of Nevada.

I credit my ability to connect with all people from all walks of life to recurring experiences like this that my father instilled in all of us. If we hadn’t tried it, we were going to! Especially if it was food.

In my estimation two demo-graphic trends that will see Revival in the twenty-first century church is: first, the urban community and secondly the diversifying of the local church. Leaders of the church must face both of these realities; continuing urbanization and rapid ethnic diversification. A September 18, 2000, Newsweek analysis states, “We are now living in an Age of Color in which the nuances of brown and yellow and red are as important… [as] the ancient divisions of black and white.” Multiculturalism in America is now a well established fact.

Understanding this apparent truth, that was solidified by the monumentally gargantuan historic election of our current president, the church must be actively engaged and in tireless pursuit to expose our local church communities to diversity.

If pressed, I think many American churches would say they are open to all people and groups. Yet, the reality is that most congregations are doing nothing to intentionally expose themselves to those who are not like them. So, I am encouraging and humbly submitting that we all take my father’s advice. How will we know if we like it or don’t like it until we have tried it? Even if we didn’t like it 10 years ago it is funny how our pallets can change.

A multi-cultural church is one that recognizes, utilizes, and celebrates the racial, cultural, generational, gender, and other diversity represented in the congregation and community. I know this is bold instruction but I am asking that you read that statement one more time and give it serious thought. Our local universities, schools, local governments, small and large employers, and even families have mandates that compel diversity. The church has long since had a mandate from the word of God. God is no respecter of persons, neither is God’s church.

Even with 21st century globalization, the church should be the world’s beacon of diversity. It is the only ecosystem where regardless of social, economic, racial, cultural, and generational diversities PEOPLE are received, loved and employed. It is in fertile environments such as the diverse church where the love of God can thrive and accelerate the church’s influence in our local communities.

In every organization the leadership is the lid. Our church communities will reflect our leadership in our spiritual dispositions, diversities, and behavioral demeanors. That is why it is imperative that our church leadership must reflect diversity!

Our church worship services must demonstrate this diversity in language, music, art form (any form of creative self-expression that you allow in your local church), and interaction.

Today’s multi-cultural church demonstrates the following points below and I believe a mono-cultural church striving to become a multi-cultural church, must aggressively pursue the following:
- identifies itself publicly as multi-cultural
- possesses a shared vision of intentionally being multi-cultural
- reflects the community
- recognizes uniqueness and gifts of the different cultures in it
- includes those populations in:
leadership
worship
volunteer staff
ministries and programs

This century and season of the church is a golden-opportunity era for urban and ethnic harvesting. Which will strengthen our local church communities, expose our people and in-turn, advance the kingdom of God!